Der erste Gastbeitrag in diesem Blog. Erinnert ihr euch noch an die Obdachlosen aus Santa Barbara? Einer von ihnen, Josh, hatte einen Laptop. Wir schrieben ein paar Emails hin und her, und ich fragte ihn, ob er nicht einen Gastbeitrag schreiben wollte, da er selbst Kurzgeschichten verfasst. Hier ist seine Story ueber die Geschichten, die das Leben schreibt, und das harte Leben eines Mannes:

As a man ages there comes a time when he assesses his life to discover and relish in the glories and grand adventures that he has managed to live.

Trouble is, He has lived a life of petty importance, endless melancholy and dogged boredum.

In his teens boredom led him to drink beer and laugh hysterically at lighting his own farts. In his twenties endless melancholy drove him to drink beer, play pong on a commodore pet computer, and beg for sex at every opportunity.

Then he gets married and petty importance drove him to drink beer, play pong on a commodore 64 computer, and beg for sex at every opportunity.

At some point along this process the beer ain’t working so the older fellow dumps the beer out and buys a really cool sports car. (So why is it that only old guys have cool sports cars? Cause they are idiots that think that reliving their youth can be better done the second time around.)

The better strategy for getting through this period is embellishment. Here is how it works.

Real story:

While attending Shop Class in high school, the teacher was droning on about safety precautions with tanks filled with 1750kilo/cm3 of pressure. …”if you were to accidentally break off the nozzle it would go through the wall like a rocket.” Now this rocket idea was verrrry interesting. So I stole one of the o2 cans and took it and a large hammer out back of the school . I beat on that valve must have been twenty times and then it just barely broke, sent the tank a spinning and the stupid thing slammed into my leg and broke it. I ended up in a whimpering heap and had to be rescued by the school nurse.

Embellished Version:

While attending Shop Class in high school, the teacher was droning on about safety precautions with tanks filled with 1750kilo/cm3 of pressure. …”if you were to accidentally break off the nozzle it would go through the wall like a rocket.”

He should have never said the word “ROCKET”

That afternoon I stole one of the o2 cans and with a 12 lb. Sledge hammer set the tank up on a perfectly tilted rock. With one mighty swing the nozzle winged away and the tank took off at a great speed out over the field. It was beautiful… until it lost is stability and started spinning in an arc across and over top of Mr. Johns dairy cows.

The question at the pub a few days later was concerned with why Johns cows have quit milking for a week.

During the very next class, the same teacher was talking about acetylene, were as he said that acetylene gas was lighter than air and if you were to fill a balloon with this gas it would rise into the air…

He should have never said the word “ BALLOON… “

So as you can see the embellished version has more honor, bravery and bravado. Certainly the only reasonable action of a man of my caliber.


Therein in lies the real problem, as a man ages he tends to remember only the embellished versions and totally forgets what really happened.

HOWEVER, he is still an man who is living a petty life of boredom and melancholy. So you find old men sitting on the porch drinking a beer and telling old remembrances of honor, bravery and bravado.

… you wonder why old ladies talk about old men.

But that is another embellishment (oops, I mean story…)

Joshua Hall

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